Work it Momma

Every so often one discovers a miracle in a bottle or a jar.  In this case, I found mine in a tube that fits in any travel bag.  Between the hormones and the fatigue, my skin visibly changed post-baby and I really struggled with keeping my face clear and fresh.  After trying several exfoliating treatments on the market, I stumbled upon Kate Somerville's ExfoliKate.  This treatment works.  It REALLY works.  And the BEST thing about it is that you can apply it in the shower.  Perfect for the time-crunched working mom!  I use it 2-3 times per week in between my shampoo and my conditioner, and my skin has never glowed like it does now.  My face is as soft as Olivia's when I emerge from my Kate showers.  It's been four months for my face since Kate Somerville first entered my life and I can truly say that now that I've found her, I just can't imagine life without her.  Thanks Kate!

Available at: http://www.katesomerville.com/

The first child surely finds a way

to change the way we live our days

mostly for good

though if I could

some things would never go away

In the life of the working mom

nothing quite supplants the f-bomb

it’s used to profess

our level of stress

so we can go home cool and calm

now I mourn the four-letter word

and the fist, and the honk, and the bird

I never knew

I would bid them adieu

‘til the day something shameful occurred

on the day our baby could walk

it turned out he also could talk!

a parrot on cue

he chirped one F – U

and left mommy and daddy in shock

my message to parents out there

someday you will learn not to swear

even habits this deep

you’ll replace with a beep

the day you have your little scare

-- Victoria

Yesterday, while waiting in the 15 Items or Less "Express" line at my local Safeway behind a mother of a toddler girl and a crying infant boy I watched in horror as the Safeway cashier sneered at the mother and sarcastically (and loudly) asked her,

"What's wrong with him?"

The mother composed herself and calmly replied,

"Maybe he's upset because of how long we've had to wait in line."

Kudos to this mom for keeping her cool, but one customer behind her (me!) was about to lose it and tear this rude cashier a new one.  What mother out there doesn't know the frustration of being stranded in the grocery store check out line with a crying infant?  Babies cry.  They just do.  You can walk into the grocery store with a perfectly content, rested, fed, and healthy baby and even if your trip is limited to an short "15 Items or Less" trip that same infant could be losing his cool by the time you hit the check out line.  Trust me, it is already bad enough to have to endure your baby's crying and feel a little helpless stranded in line trying to buy food for your family.  So when an arrogant, insensitive, sarcastic cashier decides to blurt out a passive aggressive judgment in front of the entire line and other cashiers, I think it would be justified to go postal on said cashier.  Who was this cashier to pass judgment?  This woman was buying eggs and orange juice and milk, not cartons of cigarettes and  booze. 

My jaw was still on the floor when the mother cleared out with her groceries and headed for the exit, and before I could say anything to the cashier she topped it all off by addressing the cashier in the stand one over from hers and saying, "I just can't stand crying babies, I mean seriously . . ."  There was no sympathy in her voice for the baby.  This is not a woman who actually cared about the baby's well being.  She just wanted the mom to make her baby shut up so that she didn't have to listen to it. 

In that moment I had so much appreciation for how awesomely composed that mother was.  And then it hit me -- who was this ugly-minded cashier to judge that mother???  That's just it.  She was noone.  Her judgment bounced right off this mom (or at least it appeared to) because she has no right to place judgment.  No mother needs a panel of judges in a Safeway grocery store.   Mothers judge themselves every day, and it is the mother, not the grouchy cashier, that has to look into the eyes of the little ones she provides for and cares for each day and assess whether she's been a good mother.  I did not get to talk to that mother, though I tried to catch up with her in the parking lot to offer my support -- but I like to imagine that it was her strength and confidence as a mother that allowed her to look that woman in the face and respond calmly and cooly instead of tearing her head off as I so badly wanted to do. 

So, to wrap up this little vignet, does anyone else have some stories to share about their own public mothering judges?  Would love to hear them so that I can turn this little story that still infuriates me into something to laugh about.

--Rachel