Work it Momma

Mothering is awesome, and that’s why I think my story is an important part of this blog.  My name is Victoria.*  I am 29 years old and gave birth the cutest boy on the planet (ok, I am a little biased) 7 months ago.  His name is Thomas.  He’s an amazing little boy and I am so proud to be his mom!  I relish in his every achievement and milestone, and I can’t imagine missing a single moment.  Before I found out I was pregnant, I was working in retail.  I planned to go back to school and eventually design my own line of women’s clothing.  I was really passionate about the whole thing and my husband was totally behind me!  Then came along the little man, and the choice was crystal clear for me – I am a stay at home mom, and I love it.  I made my decision, but having others respect that decision is a different story.  When I told people I decided not to go to school, they questioned me.  What the heck?!?  Since when did a mother have to justify being a mother?  I may have been good at what I used to do, but no job has ever been so important to me as being a mother.  I think every mom should have the prerogative to yell that from the rooftops instead of feeling like they have to justify motherhood as a legitimate job.  Even those who return to work should be able to look their boss in the eye and say, without fear or consequence, “my child is more important that you or this job or that customer.”  Because it is true.  But in reality, motherhood is not as respected as it should be, and so my friends, my coworkers, and even I have to sneak around and pretend like our greatest devotion is not our child.  Through this blog I hope to give mothers everywhere a voice to loudly declare that motherhood is legit!

Anne Taintor

My life wasn’t always about Thomas.  My husband and I were complete juveniles!  Sure, we paid the rent, but for the most part we had few responsibilities and a lot of fun.  We went out every weekend, we traveled, we looked good.  Then my clothes started getting a little snug and after a couple weeks of eating little and exercising like mad it finally occurred to me, “what if I am pregnant?”

Pregnancy was amazing for me.  I was doped up on the hormones and really felt like a million bucks.  I guess forgoing the booze and taking a few vitamins helped too, but the point is I have never felt better.  When Thomas was born I wasn’t surprised to discover that I liked being a mom too.  Right away the nurses commented on how natural I seemed as a mother.  I know it sounds cliché, but I was literally glowing.  I can’t really pin-point the moment, but at some point my calling was obvious and my back-to-school plan was history.

There are lots of reasons why I think staying at home with Thomas is important, but I am pretty good at rationalizing any result, so if I wanted to go back to school I think I would have justified that with equal force.  The truth is that raising Thomas is simply the most important job I have ever had.  Caring for him, nurturing him, and cheering him on as he grows have helped me discover a new side of myself that I never knew before.  He changes everything.  Looking back on my career and my life before Thomas I feel blessed.  I am blessed for somehow meeting a wonderful husband in the context of my otherwise scattered life.  I am blessed that some of my friends have turned out to be true friends even outside of the bars, spas, yoga studios and fancy restaurants we once frequented.

The coming of Thomas represents more than just added responsibility in my life.  He was more like the catalyst for a major epiphany about how I live my life and what matters.  The funny thing is, it was so simple.  Instead of living oriented to my needs, and myself, I was suddenly oriented completely towards someone else.  It feels so good.  And it really is so much more rewarding than anything I knew before.  That’s how I heard motherhood calling me, and I am so glad I could answer that call. 

My husband and I are lucky, and even in the economic downturn he managed to hold down a great job.  Although this makes it easier to justify staying home, even without this security the decision was obvious to us and I am so glad that Thomas has a father who respects and honors the idea that the most challenging and important job in the world is raising a child.

*Names and other identifying information have been changed to protect the identity of the mothers on this blog.  Please respect their privacy.  Thank you.