Often times the most obvious answers to our struggles are well within our reach. The challenge is to see the possibility. When I talk to fellow working mothers we often couch our quest for balance in terms of a struggle, a fight, a series of woes ignored by the employers that need us and the people around us. Caught up in the mess, I found myself miserable juggling chores, demands at work, juggling naps and child care schedules, and desperately wanting more time with my husband and friends. The hardest part for me was that in the midst of trying to figure it all out I searched outward for some alternative arrangement. Every conversation with another working mother revolved around trying to solve the mystery of how she accomplished the daily routine and the endless weekly to dos. I searched high and low for a tangible model to grasp onto. I was convinced that somewhere out there there must be a magic key to juggling day care pick up schedules, feeding the family, and working like I don't need the money. After a while I reached a startling conclusion: happiness is, and has always been, well within my grasp. During my commute to work one day I just decided that I was going to choose to be happy and fulfilled by this crazy working mom scenario. Instead of constantly fighting it, I decided to embrace it wholeheartedly for as long as it is mine. I reminded myself of all my many blessings. I replaced my frustration with my and my husband's inability to finish the "to dos" with compassion for what we both have on our plates. I started looking ahead to all of our hopes instead of worrying about what we are or are not doing now. Basically, I started checking every negative thought that crossed my mind and tried to temper those moments with a choice to think about things differently. I know how corny this sounds, but it has been 5 months and I am happier than ever. It worked!
And while I do not mean to suggest that every mom can somehow obtain a state of balance or bliss with a simple change of attitude, it sure doesn't hurt to check in with ourselves and consider whether a little change of attitude can't at least get us a little closer to happiness.
-Amanda
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